Abandoned blog~

here I m, but I dunno where my heart is currently~

Things happening around u,
people walked by u,
the world is where u exist..
and where u gonna stay in..
yet my heart, seems to tell me that it don't wanna live like dis...
full of stresses, and without some kinda..u knw, happiness..
I read a book, and it says, happiness lies beside sadness..
it depends on urself to choose among both of them..
but sometimes, it's not ur choice..
U can choose to be happy,
but to me, happiness grows itself..
when you're happy from the bottom of ur heart,
then you're truely happy...
but when it's forced..yeah and u know it is forced..

By the way, still wanna emphasize that,
i super duper hate pretentious person...
u rather be a sincere one, if not just piss urself off..
that's my theory, it might not work with everyone, but this theory applies
when I judge a person....
Sincere friends last.....cause
they are always willing to share with u, the true part..
or, they can listen to u anytime, anywhere, any occasion..
just when u need them....
few days ago, i went for johnny english in GSC signature...
and..went for sushi zanmai + ding tai fung...
and now, my wallet is seriously bleeding..............
but so what, if money can change happiness, I would rather spend...

I like johnny english this movie,
part of it is because it is funny,
but main part of it is....
i like the way he is.....
he is not a hero, just like every movie we watch...
but with all the might he possess and he wants to contribute,
he can be someone great.....
I guess, this is same to our world....
Not everyone is a hero, not everyone has the greatest part of this world..
not everyone of us can be like wad we want..
but just be satisfy and live with contentment.....
do the best u can, and try the bestest to make ur life shine...
isn't it much more interesting, than only being the most powerful ppl
or being the greatest ppl?

recently, friends keep discussing about love....
some says, love is complicated..
most of them are in love....
but still thinking how to maintain love or what...
some enjoy their relationship....
I have no comment..but just listening..
cause, I'm single what!! haha =)
single is nothing bad, freedom..
with a little bit of loneliness...
when love is fated, it will come to u itself...
so don't think so muchh.
let it be =D
hope every couples stay together 'sweetly' with their own happiness..
有情人终成眷属

Still, where's my heart?

help me to find it please .......

默默地想你，我却无法控制

开始会想你了，
却怎么也控制不了
怎么办？　
无言以对～　

That's wad i can only do, sitting down and dazzling

Sometimes, when I'm alone....
I always sit down and stare at things...
thinking a lot of nonsense..
a lot of things, sometimes, feel disappointed...
I 'm not anything, not someone desired, not the one......
maybe just a little one in this world............
to u, i sometimes wanna ask,
你走了多远，我可以都陪你一起走吗？
cause u are going further and further...
and...I'm left behind....
why? because...I....m a stupid...

and now why? ........because I'm nobody...
because, I'm an ordinary one
that's the best answer

失望的我

Distance grows... meanwhile heart breaks...

Now, i knw, how far our distance can be...
more than the unit to measure the size of galaxy~
more than anything on earth..
the thing that part us is just that strong..
maybe i'm too weak or wad..i guess i will never know.....
Meanwhile,suddenly heard something sad really quite making me down..
aikzz, guess I'm always that fail....
for no reasons i guess...
again, knowing the feeling of disappointment!!!
I was trying to get away,
ppl or friends laughed at me, and teased me.....I don't like dat =.= really
but wad i want, is to get rid of the fail feelings inside my heart..
maybe u can say in another way, which is to, start all over again...
think it's just too hard for me....
as wad i expect.....still I wanna try..
try for nothing......
try desperately.
for nothing.........aikzz..hard to describe here...
no one understands me!!!! can someone come to understand me???
!@#$%^&*()
finish!!!

那些年-

又回到最初的起点

记忆中你青涩的脸

我们终於来到了这一天

桌垫下的老照片

无数回忆连结

今天男孩要赴女孩最后的约

又回到最初的起点

呆呆地站在镜子前

笨拙系上红色领带的结

将头发梳成大人模样

穿上一身帅气西装

等会儿见你一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的时光

回到教室座位前后 故意讨你温柔的骂

黑板上排列组合 你舍得解开吗

谁与谁坐他又爱著她

那些年错过的大雨

那些年错过的爱情

好想拥抱你 拥抱错过的勇气

曾经想征服全世界

到最后回首才发现

这世界滴滴点点全部都是你

那些年错过的大雨

那些年错过的爱情

好想告诉你 告诉你我没有忘记

那天晚上满天星星

平行时空下的约定

再一次相遇我会紧紧抱著你

紧紧抱著你

那些年错过的大雨

那些年错过的爱情

好想拥抱你 拥抱错过的勇气

曾经想征服全世界

到最后回首才发现

这世界滴滴点点全部都是你

那些年错过的大雨

那些年错过的爱情

好想告诉你 告诉你我没有忘记

那天晚上满天星星

平行时空下的约定

再一次相遇我会紧紧抱著你

紧紧抱著你

CLosing eyes

seriously i'm closing eyes while writing this blog..
maybe i wanna feel the way to write a blog without looking at it,
to feel how is to write without looking at the screen..
i lost my specs few days ago...and..it's like losing my eyes..
I have been thinking if i lost my eyes one day, what could the world be..
could it be a different thing, compared to the colourful world that i'm living in it now..
A night before, I feel very painful, with my mind and my view keep spinning around..
I wondered theres something wrong with my body...
it almost drives me crazy..damn painful it was.....
luckily now i'm still okay  now, except that i m not dare to look at any things...
but actually i found out that, no one will knw how painful am I.
only yself realise that......
living in such a stressful world, with a lot of good good excellent students..
u can't imagine how are u going to strive to go into the course that u want..
but...what can u do yet u are not that good or not the best one...
just go on and hang on..until some miracles happen?
I know wads my position and how good is myself
, can't even deny my clumsiness...
especially when i'm doing things...
as well as in exams..~.~

moreover, there's something
I can't deny, being with close friends is something really fun..
previous 3 weeks...I was with them, attending gathering here and there...
but I m very happy, to talk and chat with them,
cause it's just feel so good..
i miss them currently, duno when can I meet thema again~ haha =)
Happy go lucky~~~~~~~~~~~~~

如果，你还是你

一向来
我有过多少次失望
也表示着我曾有过多少次的期盼

无数的冬天过了，
对你来说，可能每次都是你的春天
我可没那么乐观
你不再是你，
而我，也不会是那个我


冬夜渐暖了
青春也随着都烟消云散
美丽的故事都有遗憾吗？
不，那只是习惯把爱当作喜欢
回忆里存在的呢？
则是你和我

我爱了你整整一个曾经~

只想说，
当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你吵
我想对你好，
你却从来都不知道
想你有时候真的成了我的惯例

当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说
却害怕又说错
你知不知道？

离开你越来越遥远了
感情消失了
你的脚印也逐渐消逝了 

我忘了， 我爱过你多久
只知道， 那是我的一个曾经
曾经那么地想你
却也曾经那么地无奈
无奈你的什么呢？
无奈你~ 突然的离开 

Distance? or love?

Far or near,
it's even harder for me to determine,
for that,
u're far from me,
yet u are close by any ways...
i m finding it much more difficult for me to decide,
maybe i m clear that I care for you  now
maybe it isn't right for me to do anything at such stage?
wondering again and again,
yet i can't find the real answer..
the perfect answer that I always wanted....
Sometimes, I wish you would knw,
wish that u will find out someday,
but again, I hesitated after my wish,
I hope you wouldn't knw toooo....
It seldom went so right,
but seriously, I m still quite unsure about that,
It's just like,
I wanted a dream in my reality..
but this could be impossible right?

Someone pls wake me up,
or pls let me dream...
this two very very different thing..
How dream and reality differ?
dream can satisfy my wish,
but it always won't be as real as reality..
in other words,
reality can be just that cruel,
but it won't fail helping us to knw things better
rather than living on like what we expected in dreams....

Or could have someone stepped out and tell me what's the truth
even I can't figure it out..
especially with  blank feelings under this stupid white fan
it turns and turns, until my mind turns along with it too
Truthfully, I began to miss u once a while,
the feelings get strong,
and isit like this?
Though it is quite different from past experience,
yes it is,
cause it makes me tough to find it wrong


walls in front of me,
not other colours but white,
a bunch of papers in front of me,
u're right, finals are just around the corner..
I know I wouldn't score the best,
but I hope i can do it fair....
as long as I can achieve the score, that's it

finally,
just gonna emphasize,
Could someone give me the answer?
guess I needed it soon...
It's pretty hard for me..
even I spent a lot of time at it tooo..

getting nearer to the community,
getting nearer to many arising problems..
am I tough enuf?
nope, I ain't,
there's a lot of things that I need to learn,
still lots of things I m trying to counter..
example, even sometimes u try to be sincere..
people might see u as crap..and that's what I hated....
need to face pretentious person,
need to be sincere to me own feelings,
even need to ignore those who are annoying...
Guess I need someone to talk with..
especially when I m down =(
I wanna be as optimistic as u...
that's what I yearned...
within my little big world,
start fading away from my own sincerity....
again, I couln't resist to tell
I wanna live, with true colours of my own life~

Listening to song- breakeven(falling to pieces)
by The Script..
It's a nice song =D

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always u
and What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

要找自己最爱的，还不如找个适合你的

简单来说，
就是找个适合你的吧
往往都比你想去爱的人，更值得珍惜
适合你的人，会一直陪你走下去
而让你奋不顾身的人，
很有可能会让你累下去 =）

究竟是喜欢，还是错觉呢？

感觉上还真的有点动心了
却还一直质疑着自己的感觉
感觉很奇妙， 却还是对自己很没有信心
其实我喜欢她吗？
我也不确定，只知道对她蛮有好感的

可是，总觉得我们之间就是不可能的那种

就说过了，感情事还真烦

明明就不可能的事，却又怕自己错过了她

最近事发生得蛮多的，多得有点透不过气来了

在想，以后如果发生事的话，有她在还挺好的

今晚失眠了，因为事事都很不顺利

不顺利得还真有点巧，

巧得让我觉得很厌烦

真是让坏运气抢完风头了啦，怎么行？

好久没喜欢别人了，

一直都想着她，一个只留下回忆的她

然而，最近已经完全放弃了，

是因为她吗？

说真的还真不懂我怎么搞的

我该面对事实吗？

不，总觉得还是有点不可能，

不可能的点在于，

我从来都没料过会喜欢上她啊，

更不可能的是，

咳，总是骗不了自己啊！！ 气愤极了

其实我还蛮后知后觉的，

可能也不叫后知后觉啦，是已经有了先入为主的观念

她一向来都是很遥远的一个对象

现在果真是像站在十字路口的交点

该怎么走，

我还不想决定，

很有可能会错过她，不过也不怎么想错过她

难免真的会错过，重点是只要彼此是朋友就都还好了

是了，顺便说一些我的事吧

最近都在学控制情绪，知道自己脾气也不怎么好

对我来说却始终很难，

难在它就是难啊，我的性格，没话说

昨天发生了一场意外

可能是疏忽，还是驾车技术生疏了吧，竟然还撞到了人家大门

当时很紧张，完全头脑是一片空白的 

应该停了我却不停地踩油

结果， 四个字，“不堪设想”

还有还有，和朋友讨论着年尾要去新加坡旅行

看来花费还不小

不过有得旅行是一件幸福的事呢

好了，不说了，

累了，不想照惯例地清醒着

晚安哦~ 

寂寞，还是快乐？

我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
其实连想你都是种残酷切磋
所以，留不住回忆的我决定放手了
何苦执着并在乎得不到的温柔？

生活在茫茫人海中，
不知不觉地感觉到了一种寂寞
一种说不出的孤寂
走在人群中，
却比不上自己静静停下来
遥望着一片属于自己的天空
寂寞不是因为失去了朋友
而是失去了会去了解你的人
身边的新朋友一直都在增加
却和你有不同的信念
不同的想法，不同的观点
就说到这里吧，

那么感伤的话说了就算
开心的话题也总要有的
乐观地看待一切事情，我还在学习呢
其实除了学会了如何面对孤寂
原来也知道了快乐的定义
一个简单的事情是可以让你多么快乐的
即使是请别人一杯饮料
因为诚恳，因为真心
因为这样，人生才会拥有感动，拥有快乐
要真正的快乐其实还真不简单
发自内心的快乐更是难了
不是吗？

最近的压力减少了许多，
考试虽然接近了，却意味着回家的喜悦
好久没回家了，开始想家了呢 =）
想着这三个星期回家后应该做些什么呢？
当然是自己逛街，买一些好的东西，
每天逍遥自在的睡到自然醒，
回家看一下妈妈，
还有打game.......
看看老朋友，打羽球啦，
最重要的还是唱歌，
对吗？ 佩琦，忆菱，玮任

天啊，4点了，
该去做功课咯，
寂寞还是快乐呢？〉〈
有时候真搞不懂

A night with stars..

I like to walk under the stars,
and think beyond these stars...
while I am standing on the wake of devastation...
when I am waiting on the edge of the unknown,
I wish to walk in serenity, under this beautiful sky...
just because it is calm enough,
to act against my messed-up mind

Things come around us unexpectedly,
someday u might be happy,
but sometimes u might be just down as well.....

While u r in this world, u can't expect everything
to be just fit into what u want...
they always act differently, in words, oppositely.....
Can I just control things around me?
nope, they just won't listen to u...
guess they have no ears....

I felt emptiness while walking down at the condo.
a few times after lunch,
No, this time the emptiness is not because of u,
it's because it's really something missing out.....
like, an organ is missing from ur body?
or like a house without a kitchen?
or u can say, a life without salt?
it is something important for sure,
but, u just can't say or describe how important it is,
u knw deep down in ur heart, it is IMPORTANT~

I just posted in facebook wall,
sometimes u knw which are ur true friends,
and which are not,
certainly...
birds of the same feather flock together,
when u meet ur true friends, u will feel some kind of warmth..
it cannot be replaced by anything further.....
but surely one will only have few real real friends in life,
not more than 10 who really really understand u..

what for having so many?
5 is already more than enough~
don't u think so?

by the way,
do you ever feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you've known....
I will just remember the sadness and frustration...
let it go .....
Oh, just let it go.....
and I did it.......
It's not hard, just that I needed some time,..
actually is a lot of time....
to free myself from something binding on me for such a long period...
yeah, let it go,
that's the real way~ =)

I thought it was never late, So I didn even rush it~

Yesterday was a tiring day,
went whole day long with a few new housemates
to midvalley for harry potter 7......
it was fascinating indeed,
just that i'm not one of its fans..
by the way,
there are some questions...
why voldermolt die so easily,
and emma looks so gorgeous even after 19 years in movie?..
That's some parts i think quite funny..=)

sometimes u will wonder,
why is there something u need to rush before it's too late,
or u just take them slowly,
by the way....does it matter whether u take time?
It doesn't matter,
if it is really important to u.........

Few days ago, went out to see jspo competition
just in bukit jalil,
and went out together with friends..
someone is right,
memories are always the greatest thing on earth,
when something has passed by u,
the thing u can only look back,
and stay with u,
is memories,..
and memories are always the important events around u.....
Long time din hang out with friends like this time,
although it is super tiring, it sounds extraordinary~
We searched for taxi at night time 11 something,
staying in a lame hostel,
with 5 in a room with only 2 single beds...
guess, I never felt like dat before...
and eating some dimsums which are really special...
the dimsums are really tasty......

Peichi is right,
being optimistic is the main part of every life...
We should be optimistic,
even with some weaknesses in ourselves....
Even ppl may think u r not the best,
u r always the best for urself.....
and u are the special one,
no one can replace u haha......
so don't think so much, just live =D

way back to the part of jspo,
they did very well, outstanding performance,
with only few mistakes,
if the drill is better,
and drum major catch every high throw,
we might be able to win fatimah and go into top 4...
being top 5 is a great history....
maybe it doesn't sounds great for asma or others,
it sounds great for our own team,
cause it's kinda touching to listen back to ur own band,
performing in world stage~
I was impressed, as usual, by sultanah asma, they seems to be perfect...
but seriously disagree with st.john~ they are just... nothing......
just with colour guards~
in other words, i was stunned by Sultan abdul hamid,
they are outstanding too =D
and fatimah, as always, same dancing, same pattern.......
JSPO strive for ur best in WORLD marching band competition~

Enjoy listening to a song recently,
Lying here with you so close to me,
it's hard to fight these feelings when it feel so hard to breathe
caught up in this moment,
caught up in your smile..
I seldom opened up to anyone..
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms..
Why do we need to rush this,
just take it slow...

I tried to take it slow,
with all the might i have.....
but seriously I messed it up,
so what,
It is the fate which i can't change at all right?......xP
Got these feelings when i m listening to Just a kiss-  lady antebellum...

如果这就是爱情

你做了选择 对的错的
我只能承认 心是痛的
怀疑你舍得
我被伤的那么深
就放声哭了 何必再强忍


我没有选择 我不再完整
原来最后的吻 如此冰冷
你只能默认 我要被割舍
眼看着 你走了

如果这不是结局
如果我还爱你
如果我愿相信
你就是唯一

如果你听到这里
如果你依然放弃
那这就是爱情
 我难以抗拒

*如果这就是爱情
本来就不公平
你不需要讲理
我可以离去
如果我成全了你
如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清
是我证明 我爱你

灰色的天空 无法猜透
多余的眼泪 无法挽留
什么都牵动 感觉真的好脆弱
被呵护的人 原来不是我我不要你走 我不想放手
却又不能够奢求
同情的温柔
你可以自由 我愿意承受
把昨天 留给我

Time

Time,
goes on and on,
click, click, click.....

though it never tell how love lasts,
just that, time makes me realize
that I had fallen deeply with u before.....

It's right....when it has to be ended,
it should be...

just like something useless,

u should have dumped it,
far far away right?..
u won't have any reasons to take it back,

even the slight looking back at it...it won't cause much difference.


when time goes,
it can never turn back,
even a single second on this earth...
even a single moment in ur life..
sometimes,
life is without take two..
I think I was being too dependent on u,
when u always crossed my mind,
occasionally.......
until I understand,
learning to let go,
always let myself learn more,
more than wad I have expected...

People tend not to admit when they don't want to,
they will find excuses, reasons,
to cover the truth...
that's why,
we never wake up from the truth sometimes,
until someday we experienced it ourselves,
only that comes into our mind...
then we will change.....

Like me, when love fades,
i was trying to hold on,
I knw it was fading...
maybe keep holding on will make myself feel better...
but Indeed, when she's letting go,
she knw she never pull it back again...
love needs both side, both side pulling,
but not too tense, not too stressful......
and it hurts when u must let go,
someone u love the most..
since she wanted to

I guess,
this is why everyone is still learning,
learning throughout our lives,
to be a better person,
cause u r never a nobody.... =)

U always lose when ur appearance lose others..

Nothing much to say about this,
with not a very good appearance,
u always lose..=(
and that has always been ur faith,
cause u cant change it by any means.
so just satisfy with it and live happily....

Ignore how people look at u...
cause even how ugly u r,
there's still dignity in u..
still U r worth to be in this world..
this world is always that unfair...
but, It can be fair in ur mind..=)

Apparently, I don't mean anything to u..

Yea, he's right..
which I feel after he suddenly asked me,
If any day,
u r with someone who is good or who is extremely bad..
will I be jealous about him and...try to ...bring up ur attention to me?..
no I won't....
cause apparently, I don't mean anything to u anymore..
maybe I should go and congratz u..
or maybe I should stand stilll watching u....
thinking about what had happened..
and watch u to disappear from the place  i can still look at u....

I dunno whether u will always be my love..
but....temporarily, u r still the one.
but i dunno what will I do..
It has always been a question mark now....
I have been wrong for these few months...
love should be in 2 ways..
but even 1 way,  It can still be the greatest love..
as long as u are willing to give...
to sacrifice....for her/him...
and love has always been the greatest thing on earth..
that can touch anyone,
or in other cases, being the most meaningful thing on earth.....

There has been a question appointed on me,
that is when one of my fren said..
try to look at a thing/view from ur current position...
and walk to the right and see it again....
the things u see is always different,
although it is still the same thing....
there's many different opinion on a thing....
never a right view or a wrong view...
but as long as u can justify urself in a fair manner.
and u r not doing anything wrong....
u are always right.......

Oops getting emo again....
i guess I shouldn't write this so suddenly..
....it should be the fault of my roommate...
suddenly ask me such things...=(

When the world ends, what is the last thing u wanna do?

have not been writing blog for several days..
And I guess today I have to write something,
in which to find out an answer..
that is asked by my best friend's gf to her..
and I wonder if someone question me such thing..

when the world ends,
what is the last thing U wanna do..
for me,
I wanna take a tour to every part of the world....
that has always been my wish,
but whether is alone or is with my partner.
it depends on my future...

How about u?..
have all of u thought about what u should u do....
when world ends...
Did u regret about something u have done wrong..
when u are still in this space?.
or did u feel regret for not doing something
that u always wanted to...

Be decisive...
in what u are going to do...
cause in such moment...
u can find out what means
to u the most.....
if u cant find out this simple answer..
there must be something wrong somewhere.....
that's just the matter of time for u to find out..
so why don't u think of that earlier..

And my friend told me about a cute story
to make her bf say I love u to her.
although i dunno why...
but just wanna tell here..
There's 2 person..
if 1 named I don't love u, and one named I love u...
who will be left behind if I don't love u has gone..
haha..and finally she is successful..
I have always been looking good at them..
cause their relationship is just that free...
not restricted by any promise anything...
that's how trust takes place in both of them....
To me, a free relationship can be forever,
cause when both of them are sincere
even though there can be quarrel between them..
they can still stay strong...

cause they hold a strong relationship initially,
which is free and considerate....
I hope I m like her or him...
but maybe I need to wait..>.<
it's the matter of time again...
time really counts for many things around us..
If someone can stop time,
I wonder how  he will manage his time..
to accomplish something meaningful in his life..

Today went to watch transformers 3 = dark of the moon
It's supremely nice...
and it was great to me,
although some of them said that the storyline is quite boring..
It's gorgeous.
anyway..that's all.
with a little optimus photo..